The Rev. Fr continued his preaching and I was really held spellbound. I could remember vividly that the sermon was on The Prodigal son and God’s everlasting love. But I was not comfortable and really needed to ease myself. I stood up and went outside. After relieving myself and was about to enter the Church to continue with the service, that was when I received a pat on my shoulder. I turned and saw one of my friends who beckoned me. I went to him and he quietly asked, “Why do you allow your wife to expose her private parts in public”. I was baffled. I looked at my wife so modestly dressed and couldn’t see any exposed private part. I looked at my friend who quietly whispered, “Your wife is exposing her private part by breast feeding her baby in the church. Her breast is her private part which should not be exposed to the public”. I couldn’t utter any word but merely continued my walk into the church. It was when I sat down and looked at my son busy with his “mid breakfast” that the words of my friend became clearly. Should I stop my wife from breast feeding the baby in the public or what? Unexplainable anger descended on me. Why should I stop a baby from his meal because of man’s stupid lust?
What was unthinkable years ago that a man lustful desire should determine how, when and where a baby should be fed is gradually becoming the reality we face today. Who actually owns the breast, Husband or the baby? I still believe that a woman breast was created by God solely for the benefit of her baby and nothing; I mean absolutely nothing should stand in his way from his divine given food. I could still remember the horror and utter look of amazement on my maternal grand aunt’s face the first time she heard that men suck breast. She called the son and enquired if the “abnormality” occurs to which the son simply replied “I don’t know”.
When my wife gave birth to my first baby, as a new father, I was running from one pole to the other, to make sure that nothing went wrong. Two hours later, my wife informed me that the breast milk was not coming out and I was horrified. For me that was trouble. I asked, “Can I help to suck it out for the baby”, but my wife simply told me that the baby’s mouth “is stronger than yours”. The female doctor looked at me and said “Nwokem, Ikwubegi Ihe Ichotara eba” (Mr. you have not told us what you came here for). I was amazed that a baby who was just one hour old knows how to suck breast with such force. It only highlights one thing; the breast is his, right before he was even born.
As if in a daze, I remembered what I read in Things Fall Apart by Chinua Achebe. Ekwefi was in love with Okonkwo the village hero who was too poor to marry her. She was, against her will married to another man, but months later, Ekwefi couldn’t endure the marriage anymore, and so one early morning on her way to stream, she went and knocked at Okonkwo’s door. When Okonkwo opened the door and saw Ekwefi, he simply carried her to his bed and started searching for the loose end of her wrapper. No breast was mentioned and subsequently for Ekwefi and other wives of Okonkwo, his name became “nna anyi” and not baby.
Everything became clearly to me that men descended from their exalted position of “Nna anyi” to “my baby” the day they left their search for the loose end of wrapper and start fighting for breast with babies.
I dedicate my 2020 birthday to my mum and other mothers all over the world who breastfeed their babies without consideration to some men abnormal lust. They breastfeed us in the church, market place, inside a bus, etc.
Pls the picture is used to depict the love, loyalty, admiration, attention to detail that exist between a woman and breast sucking baby. Any man who believes he can elicit this kind of response from any woman is living in oblivion.
This article was first posted on my facebook wall on 30th May 2020
